You asked and Debra answered! We gathered an array of great questions from you on everything from divorce to child custody for her to answer live on Facebook. Below we share the questions asked and Debra’s abbreviated answer! For the full Q&A session watch the video here, and for more information on any personal support and guidance as you navigate divorce and/or co-parenting, our team of Certified Divorce Specialist™ can help. Contact us today to learn more or for a free consultation.
There can be agreements that can be put in place by courts such as co-parenting, co-separation, etc. Check out Bill Eddy’s books on high-conflict communications.
Neglect, in legal world terms usually means “child neglect” and would involve CPS or courts. For mini fights, you should try to shield this from children. You should also look for a good co-parenting coach.
You would need to register with the new state you are in.
Mediation is not always mandatory, though it is a great option for dispute resolution. Come in with realistic expectations, no aggression in body language and tone of voice.
Set expectations and guidelines, from the mundane of who’s putting the cap on the toothpaste to finance and blending bank accounts. Do’s and don’ts vary by state.
It depends. Where you live, urban, rural, suburban. What state you live in. Depends on how much you fight. Could be as little as 6 months to many years. Consider mediation.
Note date, time, place, and person of being served the papers. In some states, there are unique laws in the service (in New York, on Sundays you can’t serve papers). Could render service invalid.
Don’t delay. Find an attorney ASAP, don’t want to go into default. The amount of time varies by state and whether service in-state and out-of-state.
Do I HAVE to sign a postnup if my husband presents me with one?
Question for therapist or divorce coach. Best to ask for your specific situation. Reassure the kids that they are loved and will always be loved. They are allowed to be upset and angry. Don’t indicate that one parent is to be to blame.
Yes! By law, there are stipulations you can put in place but can be awkward and time-consuming. Parallel parenting, set up a specific parenting plan where each week, day, and holiday is clearly written out. Also, when pick-up and drop-off are. Co-parenting apps: Our Parenting Wizard & 2 Houses. Messaging, shared calendar, doctors documents, tone indicator “Hey, asshole” will flag messaging, etc.
Also, co-parent coaching!
Yes, it’s available in some states. It’s a pension against the person the spouse cheated with.
Think, would I be happy if my child were in the relationship I am in?
- I love happy relations. If there is a willingness for both parties, go to a great marriage counselor or separate life coaches. Could work!
- If you know the marriage is dead, or the spouse won’t put in the work, may not be best.
Most importantly, any settlement is for you to accept or reject. If your attorney isn’t serving you it’s fair to have an honest conversation. Could not be in their control.
Switching attorneys can be hard and high cost. Double review of your case, some may not accept.
Absolutely yes! Taking time is a great way to clarify or resolve. There is no requirement to file or not.
Debra will be one soon! We have a few suggestions we can send personally.